There's a song on Renée Elise Goldsberry's new solo album that can be considered a theatre kid anthem. It's called "Normal," and it's an upbeat ode to the joy of being, well, "not normal." Goldsberry said she wrote the song in a moment of pure inspiration: "I was writing with Theron Feemster—we call him nephew. He's a wonderful producer. He started playing a little lick on the piano, and it just came like out of my soul: 'I'm not normal, and I don't need you to be to be with me. I'm not normal. Just know that what you get is what you see. And I make no apology.' It just came out of me like an anthem."

She then adds, happily, "It's one of my absolute favorites on the album...What I love more than anything is the idea that 'I'm not normal 'can be an anthem for theatre kids like me everywhere."

The Tony winner has risen to fame through singing other people's music, whether it's "Satisfied" in Hamilton, "4 Stars" from the television series Girls5Eva, or "Out Tonight" from Rent. But her newly released debut solo album Who I Really Am shows off a more personal side to the celebrated actor—including her skills as a singer/songwriter. Though musical theatre is Goldsberry's first love, she's found a new kind of freedom in writing songs, saying: "I am blessed to live in a time where musical theatre artists do a million things. Our skills are transferable ... We are all storytellers, and there are so many avenues to share our stories. So I've been really grateful for the training that I've gotten in the theatre."

Goldsberry began writing the songs for Who I Really Am five years ago during the pandemic shutdown, and they vary from celebratory songs for her children (“Twinkle” and "You Can Do Anything"), reflections on lost love ("Met Someone"), and honest reflections on fame ("Enough (Moving Target)"). Plus, there's also a new version of Lin-Manuel Miranda's "Satisfied" on the album and a song that Goldsberry's friend (and Girls5Eva costar) Sara Bareilles gave to her, "Don't Want to Love You." They range from pop songs, to ballads, to a Motown-inspired opener. 

Below, the performer explains how she finally felt comfortable showcasing her songs, and how she's made peace whenever she messes up the "Satisfied" rap (which does sometimes happen).

There's a lot of vulnerability on this album; you sing about failed relationships and self-doubt. After playing so many complex characters in your career, why did you want to showcase your own flaws?
Renée Elise Goldsberry: It's the reason to have an album. It's the reason to write, to expose all sides. That's why it's called Who I Really Am. It's an awareness of being diminished by just a list of accomplishments. [chuckles] As crazy as it sounds to use the word "diminished" with "accomplishments." But our true value is all of our experiences. I'm in a wonderful marriage. I get to sing about it in the song, "Staring." But to not include the time where I had my heart broken—the time I broke someone's heart, to not talk about the spectrum of love relationships in my life—would be a waste of an opportunity, and it would squander the value of those experiences.

I found the song "Enough (Moving Target)" really personal. It felt like someone reaching success and yet still not feeling satisfied. Was that you processing the past 10 years?
Absolutely. I think it's valuable to address the inner voice and police it sometimes. Mine can be brutal in terms of that pressure to perform or to continue to achieve things. And in an album that's going to have "Satisfied" on it, it's wonderful to just address that struggle with ambition and the recognition that there's so much to be grateful for. We need to acknowledge that and also keep pushing ourselves to move ahead and to progress. So it's a balance. But an opportunity in a song on an album to talk about that is important. I think it's important to note that no one stops fighting that battle of figuring out what is enough.

It's really interesting you use the term "diminish" with "opportunity." Our culture kind of turns people into commodities, and then you become defined by a resume, almost. And so I'm wondering after Hamilton, which was incredibly successful and propelled you to a different level of notoriety, did you struggle with having to figure out what you were going to do next? How can I live up to that?
I think everybody, especially actors, are always struggling with: What am I going to do next? What am I going to do first? What am I going to do next? That's the question we're always confronted with, and it's a beautiful question. It doesn't have to be scary, and it doesn't have to feel like it's the definition of who we are. 

That's an important thing, I think, to recognize that what we're going to do next and what we just did (no matter how great) is not what defines us. There are a million things about our lives and our belief systems and our relationships that are incredibly illuminating about who we are. So while I asked myself the question and while I feel inspired to do more wonderful things like Hamilton, I'm also aware that it's one very special [thing], but only one part of who I am.

It must feel different though, to release something as you, versus releasing something as a character.
It does feel different. It's daunting. I remember when I started concerting in 2017, and I had to show up in front of a performing arts center full of people that had bought tickets to see Renée Elise Goldsberry, not Mimi [from Rent] or Angelica Schuyler [from Hamilton]. And I just had to take that in. Like, wow, what do I have to tell these people? What do I have to share? That is a question that I ask myself, and I continue to ask myself, and it's the question. it's a beautiful thing to be able to show up as yourself, and I'm going to continue doing it as long as I can.

On the topic of what do you have to share, there's a lot of songs of affirmation within the album. So is it almost messages for your kids, messages for other Black girls like yourself, messages that you wish you had received.
Absolutely. I want to really live authentically in this music, because it can go before me and it can stay behind me. One of the greatest compliments I've been given about the music is from people who know me very well that say, "Yes, this is you. This is Renée. I recognize you in this music." That's the opportunity, and that's the reason why. And it makes me feel very satisfied. 

How did Sara Bareilles give you a song?
She's an angel. We were working together on Girls5Eva, and I told her that I was writing an album, which was a brave thing to say to one of your heroes. And she immediately said, "I have a song that I didn't use on a project, and I think you would sing it great." And she just gave it to me, because she's incredibly generous, and she could write a banger every five minutes. That girl's so talented. So she gave me this gift. It's a wonderful song. The first time I heard it, I immediately recognized it as a wonderful companion to a song I had just written. The song she gave me is called "Don't Want to Love." I had just written a song called "I Met Someone," and they feel like flip sides of a coin in the ending of a relationship. And I just thought, how perfect, and what a gift.

Sara was always cheerleading for me throughout the process, always checking in. How's it going? What support do you need? What help do you need?

So about that Hamilton 10th anniversary reunion performance at the Tony Awards. You only had two days to rehearse it. Did it feel like riding a bike? Were you surprised at how it was still in your body? 
It felt better than my wildest dream of a reunion. We got to make something together, as opposed to just coming together. That was incredibly special, sitting in a rehearsal room in front of music stands, relearning parts that we'd forgotten, hearing each other around the room saying these things again in person. It was joyous and incredibly satisfying. 

But even if we had only gotten to just come together and hold hands in a circle, I would have been grateful for the rest of my life. It's the family and the love in the family that is what makes it magical and what makes it great, and what's so special about that experience at the Tonys and the way the world has celebrated it with us. It's just proof that the circle is bigger than just us. It really includes all of the shows, every company of Hamilton that's come since we started it, and all of the people that love theatre. We're all in this together, grateful that something in the world of musical theatre has had the impact that it has and seems to continue to have. We all share in that. We all benefit from it, and it feels really good.

I was so impressed you all remembered the choreography and blocking.
Yeah, we had to relearn a lot of it. I think the most credit belongs to the dancers for still being able to do the most difficult and amazing choreography in the world, in my opinion. And for being willing to put their bodies through that, Because that takes a tremendous amount of stamina and flexibility. I remember harassing Daveed [Diggs] every single time he jumped off that table [during his "Guns and Ships" solo], like, "Please save it for the show." And he was like, "Absolutely not."

Talking about Hamilton and its relation to other musicals, do you think it has affected the entertainment industry in terms of casting, in terms of who can lead musicals?
I love the fact that it brought together an extremely diverse cast, and also a cast of people that aren't particularly household names. There was no stunt casting, if you will. There was no celebrity. It was a gathering of souls and the creation of a family, and I'm proud that I was included. I'm better for it. I think the world is better for it. 

I don't think it ended with us in terms of the brilliance in the way they cast the musical. And I look out around the world of theatre, and also just around the world in general. And I see really beautiful casting of amazing people. Just the confidence to know, "I believe this person can do this, and I believe the world will discover a star." I love that kind of confidence in our creative team and our director. And I'm grateful that I get to be a part of that. And I love it when I see it.

Can I ask if you ever messed up the "Satisfied" rap? 
Absolutely. Yes and yes and yes. My biggest fear has always been messing up that rap, even when I sing it to this day, I'm like, "Oh, Lord, is this the time that I fall off and I can't get back on." It's hard. And it actually became harder than when I started. Because at some point, my brain started moving a little faster than even that very fast rap, and that was and is a little bit scary. 

And now the world knows it better than me. If this goes wrong, they'll all know, because they're singing along with me. But it's so well-written, and I've done it for such a long time that I trust that once I start, I'm going to make it to the end, I'm going to make the same decision that Angelica makes. It's going to be the right decision, and I'll be just holding my breath till I get to do it again.

Keep doing it into your 60s.
I'm hoping past 100.