I’m back in New York! Qualification: for five days. On Saturday, I have my show with Audra McDonald at the Scottsdale Performing Arts Center. Tickets here!

I’m actually leaving Friday early morning so I can get to Scottsdale in time to see the Desert Stages production of Disaster!. They opened last week and I’m going to see it Friday night and then do a talkback. When Jack Plotnick and I remounted the production this summer at Terrence Mann’s Connecticut Repertory Theatre, we made some really fun changes including adding an amazing mega-mix. We documented all the changes and now Desert Stages is going to be the first regional theatre to add them! The “It’s a Small World” element to the story is, Max Crumm played Scott in the Off-Broadway and Broadway production of the show, and now his mom is now playing Shirley (the role Faith Prince did on Broadway) and his dad directs it! Rachel’s in the orange outfit with the pearls.

Here’s the link to the Scottsdale Disaster!.

Right after Audra and I do our show in Scottsdale, we fly to San Francisco to do it again at the Herbst Theatre. Ticket for that one here!

Last week, I had the hilarious Judy Gold on Seth Speaks, my SiriusXM radio talk show. I had followed her recent travels on Twitter and wanted her to tell my audience the story of what happened to her during her holiday travel. Judy told us that her girlfriend, Elysa, had bought her this fancy backpack with her initials on it for her birthday. (Judy has A.D.D. like I do and is constantly misplacing things. Elysa thought that by having the initials on the backpack, Judy would never lose it. I personally don’t know how having initials on something prevents it being lost. All it means is that the object is more personalized and therefore all the more devastating when it is indeed inevitably lost.) The whole ordeal began during a vacation they took with Elysa’s family in Florida. At first it was an ordeal simply because they stayed at the “Margaritaville Hotel,” so every time you call the front desk for something, you’re put on hold and immediately have to endure “Wasting away again in Margaritaville…”. There hasn’t been that much anger from someone listening to hold music since Patti LuPone called the theatre where she was starring in Sunset Boulevard and the hold music was “As If We Never Said Goodbye”….sung by Barbra Streisand! The chutzpah!

After they flew back to JFK, Judy and Elysa got their luggage and as they were waiting for their Uber to go back to New York, Elysa noticed Judy’s “unlose-able” backpack was lost. Judy freaked out because the backpack was of sentimental value, but it contained an engraved bracelet of her aunt’s from her 16th birthday in 1910!

She searched everywhere and then went to lost-and-found in a tearful frenzy of self-blame. It wasn’t anywhere in the airport, and they finally went home where Judy was in a full depression. After phonecalls to the Florida airport, skipping her New Year’s Eve trip to wallow, and a plea on Twitter to find it, her son (away in Brussels for winter break) called and casually asked if she lost her backpack. “I’m asking because I heard my friend Alexa’s sister’s friend has it.” Wait…what? She thought he had seen her Twitter post and was joking, but he wasn’t! It was true!

And now, a la The Affair here’s the same story from the other side.

Jillian (who’s in her early 20s and came to my radio show with Judy) was returning from Florida and, while waiting for her baggage, she saw a woman drop her backpack as she left through the revolving door. She ran out after her, but couldn’t find her. (P.S. We have to start a GoFundMe to get Jillian eyeglasses because Judy is 6’3” and not difficult to spot in a crowd). Anyhoo, she was with her parents and they told her not to leave it at the lost-and-found but to take it home with them and find the owner. Her mom went through the contents. Judy had lots of copies of her new album “Kill Me Now” in her bag and as soon as her mom saw it, she flipped out because she and her husband are Judy Gold fans! They now knew who’s bag it was…and they were fans of the owner!

When they got home, Jillian told her parents that she’s now an adult and therefore she’d handle finding Judy, but her mom had tracked down Judy’s address from a prescription Judy had in the bag. I interrupted Jillian and asked the basic question: WHY DID NO ONE SIMPLY TWEET HER! Jillian’s response was simply “I don’t have a Twitter account.” I guess we can all understand why she didn’t immediately join since we all know how complicated and expensive the process is. I can’t.

Jillian’s way of finding Judy was to post a selfie of herself with the backpack on Instagram saying “I found a famous comedienne’s backpack.” I wouldn’t think that would help in any way, but bizarrely, one of her friends wrote back “That’s my sister’s friend’s mom.” Zero sense of urgency. The friend texted, “Hey. Should I put you guys in touch?” Jillian wrote back “Well, if she wants her backpack returned, yes.” What was taking so long!??!

End of the story is, they got in touch, Judy drove out to Roslyn on Long Island had some delicious bagels and coffee with the family and now has her beloved backpack again. Also, I’ve had it with young people.

Last weekend, I started my series at the Parker Playhouse with the amazing Jessie Mueller and this is the photo we took backstage before the show with my producer, Mark Cortale. For some reason, I’m the only one that looks like I have a hazy filter applied and when I posted it, I captioned that it was basically the same filter Lucille Ball used in Mame. Richard Samson (married to Howard McGillin) replied “Lucy looked younger.” Hilarious!!

In other bizarre social media news, I have to post the exchange that happened on my Facebook after I posted a pic of Jessie Mueller as Carole King to promote our concert in Ft. Lauderdale.
This was right under the photo:
PERSON 1 - Lucky to have her in our town. Loved her first album, “Tapestry”.
PERSON 2 - That was Carole King. This is the actress who played her on Broadway.
PERON 1 - Thanks for clearing that up! Who is Carole King?

And with that, I’m out.

P.S. If you’re in NYC tonight, come see me and Kelli O’Hara! She’s coming directly after rehearsal for the revival of Kiss Me, Kate so you know she’ll be warmed up and ready to sing up a storm! You can get last-minute tickets here.