SYNOPSIS: Patty Johnson lands the job of her dreams at the Cooney Lumber Mill in Big Bone, Oregon. But it’s a comic nightmare when she discovers – amidst slim fast shakes, celibacy pacts, and hotel rendezvous (with Magic Fingers, of course!) – that her secretarial pool are chainsaw wielding lumberjack killers! Equal parts horror, humor, and satire, The Secretaries is Twin Peaks meets The Stepford Wives in this smart, campy, (and bloody!) comedy from the inventive minds of The Five Lesbian Brothers.