THE "SMASH" REPORT: Season 2, Episode 12, or Here Come the Critics

By Ben Rimalower
22 Apr 2013

Anjelica Huston
Photo by Will Hart/NBC

When the Bombshell review in the Times is a rave for Julia and for Tom's songs—not for his direction—the tables are turned. Now, with Tom's production City of Angels just a fantasy in Rosie O'Donnell's head, he's eager to collaborate with Julia on "The Great Gatsby," and announce it. Even at his Broadway opening, he's desperate to have another project for people to buzz about. But Julia (also now feeling like a star) doesn't want to be his "Plan B." The New York Times has consecrated her a real playwright. That's just the vote of confidence she needs to say yes when the Manhattan Theatre Workshop's artistic director offers her the chance to do "Gatsby" as a straight play downtown. As if straight and downtown weren't enough innuendo for one limo ride, Julia asks him if she's sure he wants to get back into bed with her again. Well, that does it. Cue the kissy noises.

Tom, meanwhile, deep in his cups, is alone at the bar, with no one stroking his career ego—this is not how he imagined his opening night! When Kyle comes over to congratulate him, Tom sees the chance for another kind of stroking and asks Kyle to leave with him. Kyle should be checking on Jimmy, but he doesn't want to. I'm gonna wait until next week to see how I feel about this coupling.

Derek runs into the girl who accused him of harassment. She admits it was a fabrication and that's enough for Derek to invite her home with him as well.

Daphne Rubin-Vega suggests that Eileen reduce the advertising budget, as shows do when the New York Times review isn't what they'd hoped. That may be what other producers do, but some people ain't Eileen. She tells Daphne Rubin-Vega to double the ad budget.

"Screw Richard and screw the Times. We're gonna sweep the Tonys! Get ready. We've got a campaign to launch!"

Oooh, Eileen! I'm excited for the rest of the season!

(Ben Rimalower is the author and star of the critically acclaimed Patti Issues now its ninth hit month off Off-Broadway. Read's coverage of the solo show here. Visit him at and follow @benrimalower on Twitter.)